Wednesday, March 28, 2007

ready for the weekend

I know, I know... I have a couple of days until the weekend actually starts, but this week has been so hectic and exhausting that I'm really ready for the weekend. I wish it could start now! I'm planning a Saturday filled with knitting, relaxing, reading, and committing my lines to memory once and for all. I'm hoping I can get my hammock hung in the morning so I can lay in it and work on lines.

After rehearsal tonight I went down to the beach for about an hour. I really needed it. Whenever I'm stressed or overwhelmed, I go to the beach, usually at night, and it restores my soul. I park my car near the swings, and then pick one to sit on. I sit there, looking at the water, listening to the waves. I spend about ten minutes or so just listening to the waves and to my own thoughts, sometimes with my eyes closed, sometimes looking out into the black expanse of water or up at the stars. I sit there until I start to feel calm. My huge problems seem to diminish in this environment, in this place where I'm the smallest part of the world and everything else seems so much bigger than the problems I'm trying to escape. Once I begin to feel the stress drain away, I actually swing for a few minutes, allowing myself to feel like a child. After that, I usually grab my notebook and find a picnic table nearby so that I can write for as long as I want. I did that tonight, writing for about 30 minutes until I started feeling a little chilly from the breeze. I left then, but the feeling lingered. I still feel less stressed, more relaxed. It was just what I needed tonight, after an extremely difficult day at work and a grueling rehearsal.

So I feel better about things now. I hope this feeling lasts. I hate being negative and I hate complaining. It's not in my nature to be that way, so when I get that way, it doesn't feel right. Does that make sense?

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