status reports

I looked at some houses and some property this weekend, but didn't find anything acceptable. This house hunting thing is going to be interesting, isn't it? I've decided I will either buy one or find some property and have one built. I'm leaning toward having one built right now, because I can be part of the decision making process rather than having to change things when I move in, and also if I'm the first one to live in it, I know everything that has happened to the structure and I know it's been taken care of the way it should be. I know that sounds strange, but I've heard horror stories about people buying a house and then finding out that there is structural damage or that there was a flood or something, or mold in the walls, and that really freaks me out!

On Friday, I came home to two packages, and since I was only really expecting one - a swap package from my Ravelry swap partner filled with some amazing goodies - I was a little shocked to see two. I thought maybe I forgot that I ordered something. That wasn't the case, though, and the second package contained a pleasant surprise! I won a Microsoft contest and the prize was Microsoft Office Professional 2007! I haven't loaded it onto my computer yet because I'm trying to decide if I want it on my desktop or my laptop or if I can actually load it onto both with the license I have. That would be ideal, but there may be restrictions, although there was no fine print or anything.

life decisions

I've made a very important decision. I'm going to really watch my spending and focus on paying off some debt. My student loan goes to the second tier of repayment in October, so the payment will double. Luckily, there are only two tiers and I'm making more money now so it won't really affect too much, but I've been thinking about something lately that will be a lot easier if I don't have a lot of outside debt. I think I want to buy a house. Either a house or a condo - but I really want to own something. I figure if I really save and pay lots of extra payments on my car and get rid of the credit cards, I can be debt free (except for the student loans, of course, in a little over a year. Then, I can find the perfect house - or have one built. I'm very excited about this idea. Of course, it means I won't be able to go on shopping sprees when I get paid anymore, but I can live with that!

lying in the hammock

Almost four years ago, I purchased a hammock at a silent auction. It came in a package with everything you need to make really good margaritas and a beach umbrella. The umbrella has been used so much it fell apart last summer and I took the margarita stuff to a party held by a Jesuit Volunteer who was working at my former place of employment while I was still there, so that took care of that. The hammock, however, has been sitting in the closet in the front room, waiting to be used. Yesterday, I bought a hammock stand and today I set the hammock stand up in my back yard and had a very nice afternoon reading outside in it. I remembered why I paid for the thing in the first place - I love them! I had just purchased "No Nest for the Wicket," the next book in the Meg Langslow mystery series by Donna Andrews. I love those books! Anyway, this one is screamingly funny and a perfect book to read outside, as much of it takes place during an extreme croquet game.

It was a lovely afternoon, and as the weather continues to warm up over the next few weeks, I look forward to many more like it!

feeling better

Thanks for the kind words, both of you! I'm feeling better now, although not 100% yet. I decided to give my back one more night of rest before diving back into the exercises, but I did do a bit of yoga today and it felt really good to stretch out those muscles!

I'm completely exhausted tonight. Not sure why, but I am. I think I'll make a nice cup of hot tea, take a steaming hot bath and go to bed early. What an exciting life I lead, right?

weekend in pain

I've hurt my back. I'm not sure how it happened, but it probably has to do with either the intense exercise I did on Thursday or the fact that I tripped over a curb on Friday afternoon and fell on my face. Well, not on my face exactly, I caught myself, but I would have fallen on my face if my arms hadn't taken most of the punishment! So I spent the weekend on a heat and massage mat, taking Advil and wishing for something a bit stronger. It's feeling better today, but still not 100%.

I did manage to do some knitting while lying on the heat/massage mat, and because of the wonderful laptop purchase, I was able to do a little writing too! Not nearly enough, but it wasn't a completely nonproductive weekend.

So it's Monday and I'm heading to work in a few minutes. I'm taking publicity photos for the theatre tonight, so I'll get to see how the show is coming together. It's always fun to see show during the rehearsal process.

the best laid plans...

I planned to come home after work, make a nice dinner, eat while watching a couple of things Tivo recorded for me, and then work on the Draha outline. I planned to do these things, but none of them happened. I actually came home, made a sandwich (peanut butter and honey) and then went to my sister's house to collect some clothes for the kids so they could stay with me tonight. She's really going through a rough time and is having trouble sleeping. I think she just can't stand to be in that house without her husband. He's a jerk, but he lived there for five years and I remember exactly how horrible it was to come home to that empty house, at least at first. It's comforting to be in a house with other people, so I understand why she would rather be here than there. Plus, her house is a bit creepy. I wouldn't want to sleep there!

Anyway, I think the stress is getting to her. I'm not sure what to say other than that it does get easier. I can't really compare my divorce to hers, because she has three kids to consider, so any wisdom I may have about the situation wouldn't really apply. All I can do is be there for her, which is absolutely the plan.

So things didn't go as planned, but hopefully I can get things done tomorrow.

Little Lucy

I just had to post this, mostly because it's too cute! Noah got a new puppy. Her name is Lucy. They tell me she won't get much bigger than she is now, which is really hard to believe because she's so tiny! I really want one, but I have allergies, so I'll have to go on some kind of medicine before I get a pet, plus my current residence doesn't allow pets, so I'll get one when I move (someday...)

Easter Sunday

Today was wonderful. I got up, got ready and went to church. When I got there, someone was sitting in my usual seat. I looked around and realized there were no seats available in my usual section, so I walked all the way to the front (You know what they say about Backrow Baptists? Every person who goes to my church is a Backrow Baptist, so the front rows are always free!) I sat down and looked up at the choir, wondering who they were gesturing to and why - and then realizing they were gesturing to me! The director's daughter was waving her hands and mouthing something to me and my mother was motioning for me to come up there. Well, it was in the middle of announcements, so I couldn't do that, but then I realized what they were saying. They wanted me to put on a robe and sing with them.

They were doing an Easter Cantata a little later in the service and the choir was looking a little slimmer than usual. They wanted me to sing with them! The fun part was, I hadn't even opened the book, much less learned the songs. I motioned back to them that I didn't know the music, and they motioned back, come up anyway! So I slipped out, ran to the back, put on a robe and arrived at the door to the choir loft just in time to slip in, unnoticed, as the congregation participated in fellowship time, which is a time when the pianist plays a hymn and everyone greets everyone else and says how happy they are to see each other. It's a very friendly church.

So gasping for breath, I took my place beside my mother, wishing I had spent a little more time on my hair and makeup now that I was standing in front of everyone, and quickly looked over the cantata music. It looked fairly easy, so I knew I should be able to sight read. And so that's exactly what I did. (Thank you to my Sight Reading and Ear Training instructor at the University of Mobile back when I was a voice major! Your lessons served me well yesterday!) The first time I heard the music was when I was trying to sing it, and didn't do a terrible job, if I do say so myself. It turns out that the director was so nervous about the choir being small that he called his two adult daughters and asked them to sight read the canata too. So there were at least three of us up there who had absolutely no idea what was going on! It was a lot of fun!

After the cantata, my sister took the kids to their dad's family for their Easter celebrations and I was alone in the house at last! I did laundry all afternoon and into the evening. I still have one load to do, but I can do it tonight. It's so nice to look in the closet and see all your clothes hanging there, and to look in the laundry hamper and see no dirty clothes to wash. I do hate doing laundry, but it's one of those things that must be done.

A truly Good Friday

As always, when I spend time with my sister's kids, the days turn into a blur of activity, laughter, and fun. I was the only family member who didn't have to go to work today (yay for my job!) Rather than sitting around the house all day, I decided to have what was later dubbed "the day of awesomeness" by my 12 year old nephew.

We started the day with some errands (yeah, fun... but they had to be done) we went by the bank and then to the post office so I could mail out two swap packages for Monthly Adventures on Ravelry. One was sadly overdue but the other was early, so hopefully that will redeem me in the swap keeper's eyes.

We had pizza for lunch at my favorite little pizza place. Noah wanted a sandwich, so I sent him to the sandwich shop next door with some money and he brought his food back and ate it with us.

After that, we went to the movies to see Horton Hears a Who, which was entertaining to all of us, despite the range of ages represented. We chose that one because my youngest nephew (who is a rambunctious 4 year old) has crazy love for elephants and when he saw the previews for this movie his eyes sparkled the way kid eyes do when they are excited about something. I had to take him after that, it's such a beautiful thing to see! Anyway, he sat still through the entire movie, eyes glued to the screen. He never sits still, so I know he enjoyed it.

After the movie, I took them to the community park in Fairhope. There's an ice cream place just a block away, so we walked over and bought some ice cream. It's actually frozen yogurt, but they think it's ice cream, so I'm not going to tell them it's not! Anyway, it was about 80 degrees outside, so a perfect day for ice cream. They played in the park for several hours. I played with them for awhile and then sat down to work on something new that I am knitting for yet another Ravelry project. The place can take over your life if you let it, trust me!

We went back to my house at around 5 p.m. because they were getting hungry and I didn't want to buy dinner after spending so much money already! So that ended the "day of awesomeness." It was a lot of fun, and gave me the periodic taste of motherhood that I need to satisfy that particular craving for awhile. One thing having the kids around all the time has done for me is to make me realize that being a mom is great, but it also changes everything about your life. It has also confirmed what I've thought all along - I'm not ready for it! Also that I don't want more than one or two if I do ever have any. I think that's why being an aunt is so great for me. I love them as if they were my own, but because they are not mine, I don't have to do any of the difficult parenting stuff. It's a good position to be in, I truly believe that.

the joy of family

One thing about family. They are there to pick you up when you fall. They did it when I had difficult times, and now it's my turn to do it for someone else. My sister is getting a divorce. It's really about time, I've been hoping she would do it for ages now. She will be better off without him, that's for sure.

My sister and I have never been really close. She tends to keep people at arm's length, especially people who are in her family. In recent years, we have formed a better relationship, but still there was always distance. We are really different people and have very different lives, but we are sisters and nothing will change that. This weekend she reached out, and it was a truly amazing experience for me. I think what she is going through right now will help us grow closer, because I will be there for her throughout the ordeal and beyond. Hopefully we can be the sisters I've always wanted us to be.

I spent a lot of time with Noah this weekend. We didn't do much, just went to see a movie and then played computer games while watching Psych (my newest TV obsession) on DVD, but it was great quality time. That kid is growing up to be an awesome person. I can't wait to see what he becomes.

new stuff

I worked on two confidential knitting projects, finishing one and getting about halfway on the other. Ravelry is so awesome, I'm part of a group that swaps once a month and it's really helping me branch out with my knitting.

I bought a laptop this weekend! I've needed one since the first one I bought crashed (after about 5 years of solid use, so that's pretty good) and I happened to have the money for a very nice one that I found on sale. It is great, and will do everything I need it to do, especially for my writing and for the times when I have to go out of town for work. It just about killed me to be without a computer last week while at the conference.

family drama

There's more family drama happening. I'm not really sure what is going to come of all this, but I know what I'd like to happen. It's completely frustrating when you know that someone is not doing what is best for them (and their family) and you can do absolutely nothing to convince them that they need to make a major life change. I've tried, but it's like talking to a brick wall. Unfortunately, the decision (or indecision in this case) is hurting more than just the person in question, it is affecting the lives of others. I just have to do what I can and not worry about the rest.

Today is Noah's birthday. He's 12 years old! I love this kid more than anything else in the world. I hope he has the best birthday ever and that the rest of his life is filled with love and laughter, because he has done so much to fill my life with those very important things. Isn't he beautiful?

the kids

I got to spend some time with my sister's kids this weekend, so that was good. They were with their dad on Saturday, but yesterday, I picked them up and took them shopping. Noah's birthday is Friday, he'll be 12 years old, so I thought it was time for him to have a grown-up bicycle. He picked out a great one, and rode it around my front yard for about 30 minutes before I had to take him (and the bike) home. I think he's going to enjoy it. He has a lot of room to ride it at his house, and he has a friend who lives about half a mile away from him down a small gravel road that no traffic ever goes down, so he can ride it to his friend's house when they are going to hang out. He lives close enough to the high school that he could actually ride it to school when he goes to 9th grade, but that road has a lot more traffic, so I'm not sure if it's the best idea for him to do that. It's ultimately up to my sister, but if it were up to me, I would have to really think about it first. On Friday, we made a date to go see a movie. He's having a party Saturday, but I wanted to have him on his actual birthday. That will be fun, I'm sure. He's a great movie buddy!

the sound of silence

Okay, so our sound guy quit. We have an audience Thursday. Yep, Thursday! And our sound guy quit. The director is going to be up in the booth with me, doing sound while I do lights. Rehearsal lasted until 11:30 tonight and the director looked like he was about to kill everyone. It's always a stressful time.

I must be crazy to run lights for this one and audition for the next one, but I love it so much, and the director for Dearly Departed actually asked me if I was planning to try out, so I felt I really should. I do hope I get a part. I love working backstage, but I do miss acting. I won't work backstage on Dearly Departed. I think it's good to give other people a chance. I'm skipping the third show of the season. It's a good show and the director is wonderful, but I can't do that many shows in a year. Like I said before, it's good to give other people a chance. I will try out for the last one, the musical. (of course!)

Oh, I got an email today telling me that my Tivo was shipped this morning! I decided to use a little of my tax refund to invest in Tivo so that I'll never miss any shows due to meetings or rehearsals or writing sessions that go on a little longer than expected! I actually can't believe I waited this long to get it. I can't wait until it comes in and I get a chance to play with it!

I did some plot work on Draha today during my lunch break. I'm always thinking about the story and the characters, but I only count it as work if I put pen to paper (or finger to keyboard) and today I made some notes that I think will really help me get to the next stage in the outline. I'm so excited about this story! I've never been this excited! It's really going to be good, if I do say so myself... ;)

call me a slacker if you want...

Life
I deserve to be called a slacker for my dismal posting habits lately, I know. This week was crazy! I spent the first part of the week training my replacement at my old job. I can actually say "my old job" now, because Wednesday was my last day. There's something very interesting about closing a chapter of life and starting a new one. It's scary, but exciting - at the same time! Here's my current vague update - Something exciting and amazing might happen. Stay tuned.

Writing
Still plugging away at the outline for Draha. I'm beginning to understand how JK Rowling must have felt when she was outlining Harry Potter. Creating a world is very complex and (dare I say it?) FUN! It's taking longer than I expected to get through the detailed outline, mainly because the outline is becoming more detailed than I expected. I'm happy about the way things are going, though. I love when I'm working on a story and everything just falls into place. I've been in that zone for a few months now, and it's GREAT!

Knitting
I started on the basketweave scarf but haven't done much on it this week. I did get some really nice yarn the other day - a soy/wool blend in shades of blue - that I immediately put to use! I'm working on a purse using a sort of hybrid design taken from a few different purses I found on Ravelry and a felted box design from the wonderful Mason Dixon Knitting book. I'll post some pictures when I get further in the design. Still working on my first sock. Haven't done much on it, but also haven't forgotten it. I'm also contributing a square for a charity project I found on Ravelry. It won't take long to make and it's nice to do something for someone else.

Theatre
Got the publicity about the upcoming show out, so I'm happy that's done. I still have to finish the program, make sure the poster is done, get the postcards out, and send the press release about the upcoming auditions. See, that's why I haven't been posting. My evenings have been filled with theatre business (not to mention a grant that I'm writing for a client) so I haven't had time to post anything here! But I'll do better, I promise! The show opens Feb. 15, so we spent some time today setting lights. It was my first time being there while that happened, so I just watched and learned. It was great.

That's it for now. More later.

time off

I took Friday off and the organization is closed today, so I got a four day weekend. Trust me when I say I've enjoyed it!

Knitting
I worked on a new project - my first hat! I also worked on my first sweater. I'm updating the progress bar on the sweater according to skeins used rather than parts of the sweater done. I know it'll take 16 of them to complete the sweater, so I update the progress bar when I've finished one. So far: 1 down, 15 to go! Pictures to come for both projects. I haven't taken one of the sweater yet, and I got some more work done on the hat since the last shot, so I'm going to wait until I'm finished with today's work to take a shot of it. It's part of a KAL for the Brothers and Sisters group on Ravelry, so I'm really supposed to be knitting only during the show, but I can't stop! I'll finish it this week sometime and it'll be my first non-square/rectangle finished project!

Theatre
It's a busy time for the theatre right now! We have a production coming up and auditions for the next one. I'm working on press releases and other publicity material for these, as well as the program and poster. The director got a graphic designer he knows to do the poster, which is great because I wasn't sure what to do with it! For the next play, I have a great idea for the poster. I hope the director likes it!

Writing
Noah drew a picture of my "big bad" for Draha. It was incredible! Now he's going to draw all the characters, according to my physical descriptions of them. This might actually be a hook, a book for children/young adults actually illustrated by an 11 year old boy. I wonder if publishers would go for that... The outline is still coming right along. I stopped the actual writing in favor of finishing the extremely detailed outline of all five books. I knew it would take forever, but I'm committed to ironing out the basic structure of the overall story before going further. I don't want to write myself into a corner without knowing where to go from there. I've had that happen before and had to rewrite a lot of the story. I don't want that to happen with this story.

Work
I start training my replacement tomorrow. It should be interesting. Some of my coworkers are unhappy that I'm leaving and I'm afraid they won't be friendly to the "new me." I plan to invite her to lunch with us and urge her to come along. It'll be extremely important for her to connect with them early on, so that they will see that she's a nice person who will fit into the group. I have gotten to know these people in the last three years and I love them very much. I want them to be happy with my replacement.

Life
I'm going to get my oil changed in a few minutes. It's way overdue. Hopefully it won't take too long!

strange days ahead

I think I'm in for some strange days, but I intend to enjoy the experience and get everything from it that I can. This is an unprecidented event in my life, this recent development, and I'm taking it like a writer. I've always done this when I go through new and different things in life. It's just more material to write about and emotions to use while writing. I like looking at things this way, it means that no experience is bad because all experiences are productive. Does that make sense?

I spent a large portion of the weekend and this evening looking for job openings. There are a few out there, so I'm not giving up. In fact, I set up an interview for Friday.

I have a lot to think about in that area. If I have to choose between staying or moving just to have the career I want, I have a feeling I would end up regretting the decision to leave more than the decision to stay. I can't imagine something happening to a member of my family and me not being there to help. I think moving across the country to get a good job is out of the question. I like it here. I like the beach and the weather and the people, but most of all, I like being near my family, because I can help out when needed. They are all I have. Of course, the two things I want to do most - 1. be a writer and 2. start a children's theatre, are both things I can do without leaving, but those things are not immediate solutions to my current problem, they are longterm plans. That's not to say I'm not doing something about these plans... I'm doing a lot!

Big changes

Work

I resigned from my job yesterday. My last day is February 15. I won't go into details, but something happened that told me it was time to go. So, I have six weeks to find another job, or to build a freelance career (just kidding, I know it takes longer than that!) The great thing is, I have a wonderful support system. My parents have already said they would help if needed. In fact, they both said they were proud of me for standing up for what's right. I think that's why they are willing to help if I can't find something before my last day.

Writing

I pitched two jobs this evening! One is local, a company looking for someone to write press releases, and the other is for several articles. I'm also going to approach some local publications to see if they need someone to do some freelance work, and will be pitching any other jobs I can find. I figure I can at least start building a career and the extra money will come in very handy if I don't find a job in the next six weeks!

New Year's Resolutions

Health
-Reach ideal weight by exercising and eating right
-Practice yoga at least three times a week


Activities
-Join the choral society
-Join a book club
-Join a singles group


Spiritual
-Find a church I like
-Read the entire Bible
-Spend more time on spiritual matters


Writing
-Send Summer to 10 agents/publishers
-Complete first Draha book and start the second one - continue planning the rest of the series
-Write a short story every month
-Join a writer’s group
-Find my ideal daily writing pace


Knitting
-Complete first sweater
-Make something with cables
-Make a winter set for niece (hat, scarf, gloves)
-Attempt colorwork (maybe in the above set)
-Make a blanket
-Make a shawl
-Make a pair of socks
-Make a purse

2007 Wrap Up and Looking Ahead to 2008

1. Take a few minutes to reflect on the previous year. What are you happy with?
There are actually a lot of things I'm happy about when I look back on 2007. I'm happy that I've become involved with the theatre, for both social and professional reasons. I'm happy that I've found something relaxing to do in the evenings after work and after writing. The knitting is more an obsession than a hobby, but regardless of what it is, I'm really having fun with it and it helps me relax so much! I'm extremely happy that I've done a lot more writing than I have before and that I've finally gotten to a place where I feel comfortable pitching for jobs. I'm extremely happy that I was able to finish Under the Magnolia Tree and that I started on the fantasy series. Becoming involved in the fantasy story has been an interesting and fun process, and I am extremely excited to see where the story will go in the long run!

2. What are you unhappy with?
I'm unhappy that I wasn't able to finish one of my incomplete manuscripts that I planned to finish (Deadly Council) but it just goes on the list for this year! I'm extremely unhappy that I've lost a friend. I'm not even sure how it happened, but we haven't had any contact for about 8 months now, so I'm calling it. I tried to contact her many times throughout the year, a few times just to check in on her because I was worried and a couple of times because I really needed a friend to talk to and wanted to talk to her. She never returned the calls and never answered any of the emails. I suppose it takes a long time for these kinds of things to sink in with me, but I'm giving up now. I can't spend any more energy on this relationship and I don't think she even cares whether I do or not, so it's over. I'm unhappy with the work situation, but am taking steps to change it. I'm unhappy that I wasn't able to get something accepted for publication, but I will carry on until it happens.

3. What unexpected joys did you discover during the year?
My unexpected joys mostly stem from the theatre. I have met some wonderful people and have been involved in some amazing projects since becoming involved with this group! It's only getting better too, because this year we're doing a musical! I've enjoyed being a part of every production I've worked on, and have loved being a member of the board. Not only is it a lot of fun, but it's great for professional development and material for my portfolio. Two birds with one stone... how's that for efficient?!

4. What were some of the unexpected obstacles that came up, and how did you deal with them?
Looking back, would you have done anything differently?
The rejection letters were quite an obstacle. I was depressed about them at first, but decided to just keep trying. I don't know if I would have done anything differently, except maybe I wouldn't have let myself get so depressed about it.

5. What expectations did you find you needed to let go of?
I guess I always thought I'd get published when I tried, especially with this particular publisher because I thought my book was at least as good as the ones they've published before. I guess I had to let go of my ego a bit!

6. Looking ahead, how do you want to structure next year to support your writing?
I want to establish a daily writing pace and commit to it every day.

7. How does the rest of your life support your writing?
I'd say my life supports my writing pretty well right now. The only thing that gets in my way is me... usually because I want to sleep late instead of getting up early to write!

8. How can you change/compromise on the non-supportive elements?
I need to create a better schedule for myself, especially on week days, so that I can get up early enough to get some writing done in the mornings before work. I think this would be the best option, especially when I have evening rehearsals.

9. What new aspect of the writing life do you want to try next year?
I want to start pitching articles. I think it will be an interesting venture and may even pay off in the end.

10. Where do you need to be more disciplined?
I need to look at writing as a second job, rather than a hobby. I've been working on that and I did much better in 2007 than in 2006, but I still have quite a journey ahead. I also need discipline in the area of my health. I really need to take better care of myself.

11. Where do you need to ease up on yourself?
In general, I need to stop being critical of myself. I have so much confidence in my abilities, especially in my job, but I can't seem to shake the physical insecurities I've had for as long as I can remember. 2008 is going to be the year of self-esteem for me. I want to be just as confident in how I look as I am in how I perform.

I'm skipping the last few questions because I'm listing my resolutions in a different post.