1.   House Stuff:My trashcan wasn't stolen by a crackhead.  It was taken mistakenly by a neighbor who, like me, was too lazy to write their house number on it.  I spotted my old trashcan (the one where the rat, errr, raccoon that was hungry had chewed a hole in it).  I could've let my neighbor keep my old trashcan (he took it so he must like it better, right?), but I switched them back.  I like 
 
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